The New Kid Never Really Goes Away
By: Jessica Faith Graham
Published June 2, 2026
Note: I wrote this article before speaking at Emberlight’s Performance Infusion. Doing an in-person speaking event was a new experience for me, and took me out of my comfort zone. Full on imposter syndrome! You’ll see some photos of me before and during the event in this article. I hope you enjoy!
Ever get that feeling of being the new kid in town?
I used to believe that one day I'd walk into a room and simply know I belonged. Now I think belonging begins long before we ever open the door.
For a long time, I thought confidence would eventually replace self-doubt. That if I gained enough experience, checked enough boxes, or accomplished enough, I'd stop wondering if I was qualified enough, smart enough, or experienced enough.
I'm not so sure anymore.
Because here's what I've learned:
I took this picture in the car, right before Emberlight’s Performance Infusion. I had music blaring, air conditioning on as high as possible, and used grounding techniques and positive self-talk… all before stepping out of the car! :)
The "new kid" never really goes away.
Every new opportunity, every piece written, every stage, every career change, every dream worth pursuing seems to awaken the same familiar question:
Do I really belong here?
Maybe that's the wrong question.
The better question might be:
Can I belong to myself, even when I feel out of place?
I've had the opportunity to spend time with authors, business leaders, speakers, and entrepreneurs who openly admit they still wrestle with imposter syndrome.
That surprised me.
I assumed confidence would eventually replace self-doubt.
Instead, I've come to believe that imposter syndrome doesn't necessarily disappear. We simply learn to make room for it without letting it decide whether we move forward.
I used to think confidence came first.
Now I wonder if confidence is simply what grows after we've shown up enough times while still feeling uncertain.
Maybe belonging works the same way.
Here's something very few people know about me.
Before I step into a room or try a new experience where I feel out of place, I quietly remind myself:
Plant your feet.
Presenting at Emberlight Festival. It was an amazing experience!
Take a breath.
You can do this.
I don't always believe it immediately.
But I say it anyway.
Because courage isn't the absence of fear.
It's choosing to move forward while fear rides in the passenger seat.
People sometimes mistake persistence for confidence.
They're not the same thing.
I've felt anxious.
I've felt discouraged.
I've questioned whether I could keep going.
I've had mornings where I had no idea how I was going to make it through the day.
But I kept showing up.
Not because I always felt strong.
Because something inside me wouldn't let me quit.
Yes, my three kids are a huge part of that.
They remind me every day that someone is watching how I respond when life gets hard.
But somewhere along the way, grit became part of who I am too.
Growing up, my dad used to joke that your muscles might matter more than your résumé.
For me, that was hilarious.
I couldn't catch a ball if my life depended on it.
I may not have built the muscles he was talking about...
But I built something else.
Resilience.
And I've discovered that resilience often takes us farther than talent ever could.
Life doesn't stop throwing waves.
The doubt doesn't disappear.
The fear doesn't magically fade.
But over time, something changes.
You become steadier.
Like a ship that has learned to stay on course, even in rough water.
If you've been feeling like the new kid...
If you've been wondering whether you're good enough...
If you've been waiting until you finally feel confident before taking the next step...
Don't wait.
One of the most freeing things I've learned is that the people I admire aren't fearless.
They've simply learned not to let fear make all of their decisions.
Maybe that's the real secret.
You don't have to feel like you belong before you begin.
Sometimes the most important work isn't convincing the room that you belong.
It's learning to believe that your worth was never dependent on the room in the first place.
Because belonging isn't something we earn from other people.
It's something we learn to carry within ourselves.
And when we begin to believe that...
We stop waiting for permission to take up the space we've already been given.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Please feel free to share your comments below.
